So I had this dream-vision inspired by either by the divine, or too much garlic in last night’s pasta sauce.
Moderate Republicans sprout balls and convince Boehner to a clean CR vote. It narrowly passes. Meanwhile, threats from the old Republican guard (Wall Street) become more vicious than the new Republican Guard (Tea Party), and a temporary debt limit increase passes at 11:58 p.m. October 17. Asian markets take off like a rocket, prompting US markets to soar well past record levels the following morning. The old guard is pleased.
Overseas, Putin wins the Nobel Peace Prize and no longer feels inferior to Obama. They become peacenik buddies and Russia prods Iran to back off on their hate-mongering and kill their nuke-bomb program. Kerry and his counterpart cut a deal; sanctions are lifted. Iranian oil flows to the free market and prices plunge. Cheap oil fuels a global economic boom and US corporations flush with their cash stash start a hiring frenzy. Unemployment drops to 3.4% and US and Chinese consumers consume like never before!
Of course the Tea Party is infuriated and plant counterparts in the primaries as payback to the moderate Republican traders. Moderate Republicans become extinct after the primaries. But as the economy is booming and the disenfranchised love their Obamacare, the Tea Party suffers a sweeping defeat and narrowly loses the House. Democrats just keep the Senate and Hilary wins the nomination.
Meanwhile as the Iranians are flush with cash (and loving it) they cut off their terrorist funding and the movement dries up. They let their women wear designer jeans in public again. With limited terrorist weapon’s funding, a Palestine Peace Treaty is signed. Barak and Vladimir jointly win the Peace Prize again. US adoption of Russian kids resumes.
With no moderate Republicans left, Ted Cruz easily wins his party’s nomination. He picks Rand Paul as his running mate. But with the economy booming, the market soaring and the resulting deficient shrinking, their message is too dated – appealing only to the base.
Hilary wins in a landslide surpassing Goldwater’s defeat. She has the House and Senate in her control.
Then in surprising cataclysmic event, the super volcano under Yellowstone erupts spewing a toxic ash around the globe for a hundred days. All life dies off except for Tea Partiers and Koch Brother Klan hunkered down in their refurbished missile silos. They win in the end! It was God’s will without a doubt.
Ah, but it was only a dream. Damn that garlic!
